THOUGHTS FROM BULLY

Have you ever had one of those days that starts out bad and just keeps getting worse as the day progresses. Well I had one recently and thought I’d share it with you. On this particular morning I followed my standard routine. I first checked the refrigirator to see if I needed beer for the day and then opened my e-mails. As I opened the e-mails I saw a message from a friend that read, “Pass this message along to 10 friends or you will die in 3 days.” Don’t you hate those superstious chain letter e-mails. I deleted the e-mail 20 days ago and I am still here to write this article. I ain’t dead but the rest of my day turned to crap.

It was Friday morning and it was time to wash the dishes from Monday. I grabbed the big black iron pot with the left over white beans. As I swung the heavy pot off the counter the lid slid off and headed for my big toe. With a quick jitterbug move, my foot was saved from the pain of a blood blister under my big toe nail. However the lid did hit my new vinyl tile floor that I had installed a week earlier. It cut a 3 inch gash in the floor. So much for a new floor.

I then did my Friday banking and prepared deposit slips to deposit before 2 o’clock. I went to my car, proceeded to drive down my dead-end road and saw a house being moved down my road. It took 3 hours for the house to pass my house and caused me to miss my deposit deadline that was covering $1400 worth of checks I had written the day before. Hello over-draft charges.

Now that the road was clear, I decided to do my grocery shopping and yes I needed some beer. As I pulled into the parking lot, I spied a parking space up front. As I was pulling into the parking space I noticed a skin head ganster want-to-be squating against the wall. As I was parking this young piece of scum started shaking his head and mouthing, “Don’t park here.” As I was getting out he stood up walked to another spot in the lot and dropped the “F” bomb on me under his breath. So, what is a decent person to do? Should I walk over and kick his ass since his pants were already half way down to his knees or should I ignore the comment from a member of the most pitiful generation ever produced? I decided not to drag his punk ass through the parking lot. Hell, he might be an illegal alien and I could be charged with some sort of hate crime. This country is going to hell in a hand basket. I did wait by the entrance of the store to make sure he didn’t key my car.

Finally I went inside and went to the beer isle. The first good thing of the day happened. The 16oz. beers were on sale. I reached up and removed a six pack from the shelf and one of the cans fell out of its sleeve and landed on my big toe. Since I was wearing flip-flops my toe started turning purple immediatly. I am now pissed, purchased the beer and went looking for the punk in the parking. I needed to take out my frustration on someone and ganster boy was gonna get his butt whipped like a red headed step child.

Later that evening I decided to go out to a club and take some photos. There were beautiful young women everywhere. I looked at the bar and this young lady had a pair of the popular low riding jeans with a trash tattoo. I must admit to my hypocracey. I like the girls wearing the low riding jeans and these jeans were so low that 3 inches of butt crack was showing. I couldn’t believe my eyes so I took a photo of the rear end show. Since she was 21, I thought, if the jeans were that low in the back I can’t wait to take a picture when she turns around. Sure enough when she turned around I almost blushed at the view. I raised my camera and the camera display said, “Low Battery.” It then shut off.

Perfect ending for a bad day.