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Have you dialed 411 for directory assistance lately? I have! I use it quite often while on one of my business hunting trips. It comes in real handy. What T’s-me-off is when the computer asks me, to tell it, who I want to speak to and in what city and state.
I have learned that no matter what I say, the irritating mechanical computer voice is going to say, “I’m Sorry, Could you, Please repeat.”
First off, the way the computer says it, with that sassy tone. Seems like the computer wants me to feel stupid because I didn’t pronunciate every syllable exactly correct. What the hell does that computer know about pronunciation? Think about it! The computer was probably designed by some geek that was taught sight words ever since elementary school. He probably can’t spell or read the word PHONICS.
Then after you say it again, magically a human being comes on the phone and asks,
”Who are you trying to reach?” Sometimes they already have the number ready. That means that they were listening to the phone the entire time. That T’s Me OFF!
I am not going to say there is a conspiracy to milk minutes but I would prefer to get the number ASAP.
Then there are times when I call and just to amuse myself I say arbitrary names like, Mighty Mouse, Popeye and Olive Oil. I said Tom Cruise once and an operator came on immediately. I had to tell her, “Just Teasing. Could you get me the dog pound.”
Imagine how many mistakes the computer would make trying to phonetically spell sounds of South Louisiana family last names. Hell, I can’t spell or pronunciate half of these: Aguillard, Fryoux, Arceneaux, Bessonet, Boudreaux, Bourgeois, Cagnolatti, Carmouche, Chauvin, Clouatre and DeBose.
These few names make my point. I didn1t get past the D’s in the phone book. Imagine the R’s and W’s. Don’t mention the S’s. There are at least 13 ways to spell Schexnaydre.
I hope the FCC doesn1t ever have the right to fine me for profanity. I am sure I have had a few choice words for the computer including: stupid, challenged, idiot. I screamed at the computer once I’d rather speak to my ex-wife than have to talk to you. I immediately took a reality check and begged for forgiveness from the lord. That was a cruel and unusual statement for even a mindless, heartless computer.
I have had lots of fun with these machines. I remember a college basketball player from the 70’s. His name was Aniset Lavadrama. I use that name quite often for my amusement. I can’t guarantee my spelling but that is how I pronunciate it, twice. The operator always still comes on and I get my real number.
I did once ask the computer for Bull Winkle Richard and the computer said, “You are being connected to, area code 557-801-XXXX.”
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